Round Here

One thing thats hard about asthma, and congenital heart disease is that they are “silent” diseases, no one really knows you have them, unless they pick out the little clues, the scar, the inhaler, the posture you take when you arent breathing so hot, this makes it hard for others to understand what its like to deal with, no one really “gets it” when you are having a bad day…even when you arent, people just seem to believe that they dont see it so it must not be that big a deal, and even if they do, its not that bad cause its not visable.

Most of the time this isnt a big deal, but sometimes it can really grate on you, one day, as I was getting ready to have my ablation in march I was listening to music, which is one of my favorite things to do, also seems to be very theraputic when I am dealing with crap…and I heard one of my favorite songs in a WHOLE new light (its amazing what a little perspective will give you) The song is Round Here by the Counting Crows, and parts of the song really hit home…

“Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white.”

(having something invisible going on, no one gets it, the only indication is the scar, inhaler, etc)

“I walk in the air between the rain
through myself and back again
Where? I don’t know”

(while I’m doing my daily routine, especially when I am having a rough day I’m “in my head” alot trying to deal with the mental/emotional part of this, it hardly ever gets me anywheres, but its definitely a journey)

“Round here we always stand up straight
Round here something radiates”

(again, a picture of normalcy, busy doing day to day things, conforming to the norm and trying to give off positive vibes, again, if you arent positive, people around you tend to feel sorry for you)

“Round here we’re carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs”

(back then I was busy at school and work, trying to continue with the semester, getting ready to take my boards, now I’m day to day at work trying to become the best I can be, again, I look no different than any of my classmates and co-workers, and therefore am no different in most peoples eyes. I go to work every day, I advocate for my patient’s best interests, I try my hardest to be the best I can be, but sometimes I just cant be that all the time, sometimes I just need to break down and cry)

Round here hey man we got lots of time
Round here we’re never sent to bed early
and nobody makes us wait
Round here we stay up very, very, very, very late

Chronic illness can make you feel alone at times, especially when its silent, this lyric represents to me feeling alone in the school/work environment, but it also represents me having to take over my healthcare (no one’s running that show any more, I have to take it over myself {no one’s telling me how to do it anymore, “when to go to bed”})

“see i`m under the gun round here
oh man i said i`m under the gun round here
and i can`t see nothing, nothing round here.”

(I’m under alot of pressure day to day, needless to say, sometimes it’s hard to get perspective, sometimes its hard to see the forest for the trees, on the flipside, sometimes this helps alot when I’m not feeling well to be really busy, cause I can put my head down and just get it done, but that can lead to not taking care of myself, forgetting to take meds, not getting enough sleep, etc)

if this sounds sort of dark, its cause I first wrote this down when I was in a rough place, I was getting ready for my ablation and I was pretty scared, and felt really alone, I am in a much better place now that I’ve had my ablation, and things have stabilized, but I think its good to look back at some of the hard times sometimes to realize how far you’ve come, and I’m hoping I can help others by expressing some of the crap I’ve been through

From Either Side of the Asthma World

(Thanks Kerri)
Not too long ago, I was part of the outer world. This outer world is a place where every breath comes easily, and you’ll cough and sneeze and sniffle your way through a cold, complaining all the while about how sick you are. The outer world is a place where you can run out of your house, go for a run, and come back a little tired, but after about five minutes, you’ll be no worse for the wear. The outer world is also the place where asthma is just a blue inhaler. That’s all you ever see, right? The blue inhaler. You don’t even know what it’s called, but, you know people with that foreign, but common and controllable lung disease called asthma take them from time to time to help them breathe.

Now I am in a world that coexists with the outer world. It is separate, but mingles with this world in a way that only a subset of people can understand. I am no different, but at the same time, I am different in one way, that is very small and very large at the same time.

My name is Kerri, and I’m a university student in Canada, studying Education and human development. And, like 1 in 10 people in my country, on a daily basis, I deal with asthma.

Okay, one in ten people? Makes you think you’re in good company, right? But when you’re one persistent asthmatic in a sea of intermittent asthmatics, the world seems very different. Thinking of my friends from high school who have asthma, only one is on control medications, and is very well controlled on FloVent. Two of the other ones rarely even have Ventolin with them.

When I was diagnosed? I thought it wouldn’t bee too difficult. The doctor had told me; “Take some Ventolin, you’ll be fine!”. Several months later of taking 6-8 puffs of Ventolin a day, I embarked on the journey of control medications. And seriously? Sitting among your fellow asthmatics with your Symbicort and your Singulair and your Ventolin and AeroChamber and Benadryl and Reactine and peak flow meter in your bag, when they don’t even have a Ventolin in their pocket? Gets frustrating—especially when things aren’t working, and you just watch your intermittent asthmatic friends run around (and occasionally borrow your Ventolin, because theirs is lost/expired/at home) without a second thought given to their breathing because they flare so infrequently they don’t have to think about it, is hard. (Okay, I’m not ragging on the intermittent asthmatics, okay? I’m happy that their asthma is so well controlled so easily. Keep reading, you’ll see what I mean). It’s WAY harder than looking at the people with good lungs do it. Because you, at this point, start to wonder “Okay, what am I doing wrong? Why am I on all this medication, and still feeling like crap? Why are my lungs so touchy?”

So, you search for someone who gets you. And in this day and age, you probably ended up on Google, because, let’s face it; we think it can solve every problem we face in life. Well, not quite, but it can at least give us some answers.

And maybe Google ended up bringing you into a place where the outer world of the Internet grabbed you, and sucked you into this new inner world, full of people like you. People who not only know what an AeroChamber is, but actually use one, too. People who know that a peak flow under 80% is called the “yellow zone”. And, people who, at times, are as frustrated by asthma as you are, or even more-so. And they GET IT. They share frustration with you when things get rough, and elation with you when you’ve been breathing well, whether it’s been for an hour, a week, or a month. And some of them are the best of both worlds, and are both asthmatics AND medical professionals, specifically respiratory therapists.

After awhile, these people become more than blog readers, or blog writers, or twiends (twitter friends), or people you touch base with on social networking sites. They become a community. If you are going through a bad patch, they post comments on your blog, and send you e-mails and tell you to get on MSN so you can vent to them and they can know what’s up, or pop up on your Facebook chat, or Gmail chat. The link is formed because of asthma, but goes so much deeper so that you know their major in university, or their goals, or even their siblings names. You become friends.

We become friends because we deal with a frustrating lung disease on a daily basis. We stay friends because we begin to genuinely care about each other. I feel blessed to be a part of this awesome community of awesome people who just happen to have lungs who are anywhere from a little to a lot crazier than “normal” . . . And some of us? Even without asthma, we’d be a little or a lot crazier than “normal”, too!

(Also, I want to thank Morgan for inviting me to guest post here on From Either Side of the Gurney—thanks, Morgan! Oh, and see how I played on Morgan’s blog title? I suck at coming up with titles, that’s why I played off of hers . . .)

Dreams. . .

Woah,
I woke up out of a dream at about 5:30 AM this morning, and couldnt get back to sleep, I was dreaming that I was in a hospital in preop and they were about to do open heart surgery on me, I was asking for something to calm me down, I remember being in pain and being scared, and they were starting IVs and stuff, last thing I remember before I woke up was being rolled into the OR, and seeing everything thats going on, they inserted an arterial line, and I remember the anesthesiologist putting the mask on my face, and I woke up.

I’ve had a few different connotations of this dream, waking up from surgery looking for a new scar (to the point where I actually wake up in real life looking for a new scar), dreams of my ablation procedure, dreams of Dr’s appts, usually cardiology appts, etc

what do you suppose this is from? I’m guessing it’s my brain subconsciously relaying fears or reliving experiences. . . whatever it is its kinda disturbing. . . and I have a feeling its not going to stop any time soon. . . gotta love it!!!

Asthma Action Plans. . .

ok,
as much as I believe in asthma action plans professionally, I’m not really going to preach them from that angle, other than to say that they are a really good thing. . . duh! (Although I do believe I’d see alot less asthmatics in the ER if AAP’s were used and followed more)

what is an asthma action plan: its a guideline that you as the patient and your asthma doc work on together, this guideline tells you how and when to take your meds, when to increase your meds, and when you should call your doctor or go to the ER. it generally consists of “Zones” color coded like a traffic light, alot of times there are peak flow numbers and symptoms for each zone, and sometimes its just based on symptoms, each zone has its own list of medications and instructions to follow that tell you when to change zones and when to call the dr or go to the ER.

why are they a really good thing? well, I’ll explain from experience. . . when I was first diagnosed with asthma I didnt have an action plan, every move I made with my asthma treatment I had to call my Dr’s office and either talk to someone or go in to be seen, leading to delays in treatment, and ending up on oral steroids a few times, and lots and lots of frustration that comes from trying to get appts and make phonecalls to increase or change my meds to get things under control. and on top of that I was always wondering when I should call my doc, and dealing with the stress of not knowing what I should do, and not having any control of the situation. . .

Since I’ve had my action plan I have used it once, my asthma doc says that its hard to tell how it works till its been in place 6 months to a year, the one time I did use it I loved it, it made life alot easier, and best yet, I got ahead of things before they got bad, and only needed to “yellow zone” for 2 days. . . it could have been much worse, I’ve ended up on prednisone a few times for letting things stew too long. . .

So, whats my asthma action plan?
I have moderate persistant asthma, my triggers are upper respiratory infections, smoke (cigarette and other) fumes like paint or chemical, construction dust and stuff like that, and exercise and stress.

Green: PF of 400 and up
And/Or
Symptoms: NO symptoms (coughing, tight chest, shortness of breath {I dont really wheeze unless I am really bad off})

Meds: Symbicort 160/4.5 2 puffs twice a day, singulair 10 mg daily, and xopenex inhaler 2 puffs or neb 1.25 mg neb every 4 hours as needed

Yellow: PF 250-400
And/Or
Symptoms: any symptoms what so ever, first sign of cold or upper respiratory infection

Meds: symbicort 160/4.5 2 puffs twice daily, singulair 10 mg daily, xopenex inhaler 2 puffs or neb 1.25 mg every 4 hrs scheduled, and either pulmicort flexhaler 180 mcg 2 puffs 4 times a day or 1 mg pulmicort nebulized twice a day

Red: PF<250
And/Or
Symptoms: worsening symptoms dispite treatment or symptoms staying the same after 24-48 hours of treatment

Meds: Yellow Zone Meds plus 60 mg prednisone daily x 5 days
Call MD, go to ER if need be

so, whats your action plan? any success stories? any advice? any questions?

A Day in the Life. . .

well,
I promised to explain how much of an impact all this has on my day to day life. . . and honestly I dont have a whole lot to explain, really! I’m usually not big on advertising my weaknesses, so this is really hard to do. Like anyone who has chronic illnesses I’ve been really good at making tiny changes in life to accomodate the little quirks I have, which has made my “quirks” pretty much imperceptible to the people around me, and actually, alot of times I dont realize that I am having them either.

Day to day, I really dont have many cardiac symptoms, and actually, its gotten to the point that they are second nature, and I dont even recognise them alot of times. the biggest reminder I have is the relatively visable scar on my chest, and the reactions it sometimes gets from people around me, although I will get the occasional skipped beat or two, or the occasional run of ventricular bigeminy, which are no more than an annoying, inconsequential reminder that my heart is tempermental, and it’s got a mind of its own. Rarely I’ll notice that I’ve overdone it and am really exhausted, or have some shortness of breath when I am excersising really hard, and half the time I can figure out some other explanation for why I am feeling the way I am (Denial? maybe. . . ) besides the occasional symptoms and my scar I dont have any meds to take, and I’ve only got the occasional doctors appt for heart related stuff, and the occasional memory or two, basically, I usually dont have to deal with my heart on a day to day basis, and alot of the time, other than seeing my scar in the mirror I forget about it totally. . . its stable for now, no need to dwell, its gonna cause more issues down the road, but I’m gonna enjoy being fairly bored with it for now…

My asthma though is another story, the biggest daily impact is taking my meds. I dont have daily symptoms most of the time, and usually when I do they are cough, chest tightness, and shortness of breath, I usually have my worst symptoms when I am sick with an upper respiratory infection, and sometimes I have chest tightness when I am excersising, the other impact that asthma has on my life is monthly trips to the pharmacy, the bills that come along with it, and making sure that I have enough of my meds all the time, and have a couple backup inhalers of xopenex, and of course followup appts that go along with managing asthma. Like any other asthmatic though I think I am able to ignore my symptoms well, and dont even notice them alot of times, and alot of times I play tough till its too late and things are much harder to get in control. . . its hard for me to tell how much my heart symptoms and asthma symptoms play off from each other and make things seem worse sometimes, but whatever, thats irrelevant

other than that, its hard to explain the total impact chronic illness has on my life in one post without it sounding alot worse than it really is, because the issues are so dynamic, changing daily, heck, my biggest beef with chronic illness is the unknown of it all, my heart could be stable for the next 25 years, or I could need a double valve replacement within a week from now and I wouldnt know that today by how I am feeling or doing, my asthma might be fine today, but tomorrow I could catch a cold or the flu and be sucking down 3 or 4 neb treatments a day, so I just have to live day to day

and now that this has rambled on for ages I am going to go chill out. . .

OK, Lets Clarify a Few Things

Well,

I realized yesterday that I’ve posted a whole bunch of stuff related to my health, but havent actually mentioned exactly what I’ve got going on in that arena. . .

Its a long story, but I’ll start from the beginning. As I have mentioned before I was born with several congenital heart defects. 5 to be exact; a VSD or ventricular septal defect (hole between the bottom 2 chambers), bicuspid aortic valve (self explanatory, a normal one has 3 cusps), coarctation of the aorta (a crimp in the main vessel carrying blood out to my body), sub aortic stenosis (narrowing below my aortic valve) and mitral stenosis (narrowing of my mitral valve)

Needless to say, I was a pretty sick kid for a while, I was diagnosed with the CHDs in 1987 at about 2 mos of age, and I had my first open heart surgery in 1988 at about a year old to repair the VSD, they placed a dacron patch over the hole, which “fixed” that defect, in 1991, at about 4 years old I had surgery to resect the subaortic stenosis. after that my heart health stabilized, and I did really well through my childhood and teenage years, and continue to do really well, with the understanding that as any other person with CHDs, just because I’m “fixed” doesnt really mean I am totally fixed, I get regular followup so we can keep an eye on things and catch anything before it becomes a real issue. . .

I’m still at risk of having issues, the scars in my heart can cause issues with arrhythmias as I found out last year resulting in the need for a radiofrequency ablation for SVTs this past March. . . and I still have a couple of valves in my heart that dont work so well, that will eventually need to be fixed! I was given an approximate estimate of needing surgery 5-10 years down the road a couple years ago I’m determined not to let it get in the way of life in the mean time! Yesterday my adult congenital cardiologist cleared me for 2 years, I’m hoping the only reminder I have of these issues between now and 2011 is my zipper (sternotomy scars from my open heart surgeries)

Besides my cardiac issues in 2006 I had laparoscopic surgery for acid reflux, that I believe stems from when I was sick as a baby, this went really well, before the surgery I was on tons of meds and vomiting almost every day, and since the surgery I have not had any symptoms of acid reflux, and have been completely off all meds for acid reflux, WOO HOO!!! gotta love that!!! at this point I have basically forgotten about the whole thing, which is awesome!!!

More recently I have been diagnosed with asthma, I have had symptoms for at least the last 10 years that were chalked up to my heart, within the last 5 or 6 years I noticed that when I got colds they would settle in my chest, and last for a long time after some trial and error over the last 3 or 4 years things have settled out and I have finally been diagnosed by my new asthma doc with moderate persistant asthma, and set up with an asthma action plan,
my action plan:

green: PF 400 or better, no symptoms, symbicort 160/4.5 2 puffs twice a day, singulair, and xopenex inhaler or neb as needed, and pre exercise

yellow: PF 250-400, any symptoms, symbicort 2 puffs twice a day, singulair, xopenex inhaler or neb every 4 hours, and either pulmicort flexhaler 180 mcg 2 puffs four times a day, or pulmicort neb 1 mg twice a day

red: PF less than 250, worsening or same symptoms after 24 hrs of yellow zone, add 60 mg prednisone daily for 5 days and call MD, go to the ER if need be

right now things are pretty stable with my asthma, I end up using my inhaler usually about a couple times a week or less, and I feel pretty good, I have recently been in my yellow zone a couple weeks ago, but other than that life is good

Wow! thats a long post, as intimidating as this all sounds its really not all that big a deal, and it doesnt really make that big of an appearance in my day to day life. . .
tomorrow~ish I’ll write a post on how big an impact all this really has on my day to day life. . .

holy. . . what? its been 6 months

Wow!

Ok, I know I’ve been neglecting this blog. Its been a hard 6 months, and I know, I have yet to post my experience of my ablation. . . I’m working on a narrative for that. In the mean time I’ll post a synopsis of the last 6 months or so. . .

March 26th I had my ablation, it was very successful, I spent over 6 very uncomfortable hours on the table, but as I told my cardiologist today, I’d do it 100 times over for the results I have gotten so far. I spent spring break recovering.

The beginning of April I returned to school after spring break was over and finished out the program in May graduating magna cum laude. I also bought a bike in april, and decided I was going to ride in the local triathalon “Bay Day”, The third big thing in April was my followup with my EP cardiologist, he was really happy with the results of the ablation, and he cut me loose, I only need to call him if I have issues

In May, right after graduation (read: 2 days after graduating) I started working as a respiratory therapist  at my current job

In June I passed my certification, and got my state liscence for respiratory therapy, I also came down with a nasty cold and a case of bronchitis and ended up having an asthma attack for over a month off and on, things were pretty yucky for a while. . .

In July I began seeing an asthma doc who has made a huge difference in helping me tame my asthma, we got things back under control, I also rode a 12 mile bike race less than 4 months after my ablation. I also passed my registry exam, I am now practicing as a registered respiratory therapist (RRT)

August was pretty uneventful besides a doctors appt or two, and my family reunion

September is going great so far. I just saw my adult congenital cardiologist today and it went great, he cut me loose for two years, he said my murmer sounds about the same and that I look great, he will see me in 2 years and do an echo then. . . who? wait! what, murmer??? about the same?. . . I’ll explain it more soon, I know I’ve mentioned congenital heart defects, I’ll get down and dirty with that soon, oh, yea, and the asthma thing? I’ll go there soon too. . .

Other than that my summer has been pretty uneventful. . . riiight, LOL!!!

I promise to be better at updating in the future

In the mean time I’m gonna finish my beer and go to bed

off the dilt! crazy clinical day!

eh,

I’m going to tempt the fates by saying this, but I went off the dilt cold turky on saturday. . . and it could be better, but it hasnt been too bad! I’ve had a few short spells, less than a minute or two or five  of tachycardia at a time, few more than normal random palpitations, and one crazy headache saturday evening (questioning if its from not taking the dilt or not) but other than that I’m kinda sorta almost wondering why I am going in for the procedure on thursday, I know as soon as I start wondering I’ll have something kick me back to reality, but still!!! I only have 2 days left and life is good, I could get used to not swallowing that horse pill! I just hope they are able to induce this thing on thursday, the fact that I havent really had much going on makes me nervous almost, really, I know, they’ll get it! I have to remember, before I went on the dilt I’d have a week or two at a time without anything crazy happen, then it would hit me all at once. . .  and it knocked me flat on my ass a few times, literally! so we’ll see how the next two days are, I’m pretty sure they’ll be able to get it, its just finiky!

 

clinical, thats another story, speaking of tempting fates! seems like today putting my sills advanced RT exam prep guide on the front seat of my car was enough to piss Murphy off. . . today started out with a couple RSV slides in the ER and it went from there, the neonatal ICU was Nutz with a capitol N, on the way up there we got called to a code 99, someone passed out in one of the outpatient clinics, and no one was able to find them, so we get there to find that everything’s ok, and after the 10 mins we spent searching for the code they didnt really need us anyways. . .  we head down to the basement to get some equipment for the ER, bring it down and on the way back from  the ER I saw my EP doc. . . so much for forgetting about my procedure while I’m at clinical, so then we head back up to the NICU to help the therapists up there out (they had to attend a birth of a 26 week preemie) and I see my pediatric cardiologist! holy crap! little freaky seeing him in the clinical aspect of things, no matter how many times I’ve seen him outside of being in his office to see him (even after I’ve switched to an adult cardiologist). . . so, while we are covering NICU we get called to the ER for an intubation. . . eh, we’re stuck up here with a bunch of sick babies on ventilators! so my preceptor calls another therapist to go cover, by the time we got to the ER the guy was intubated, and they were doing an endoscopy, they guy bled out almost 2 liters out of his esophagus! holy cow! by the time we stabilized this guy it was 10 of 3 and time for me to go! talk about a day!

 

moral of the story, I think I’ll grab the sills and put it back on the kitchen table before I leave in the AM!

crazy week!

this week has been absolutely nuts!

for clinical I was with the charge therapist, and it was busy, and boring at the same time, a bipap in the ER and an RSV slide on a baby in the ER and helping out on the intensive care units(ICUs) pediatric ICU and surgical ICU were particularly busy this week, with pediatric ICU taking the cake! a bunch of really sick babies hanging around there this week, but otherwise basically a couple mundane days at clinical. . . running my ass off!!!

on tuesday I went out as a tradition with my mother, her boyfriend, and a couple friends to see a couple Irish bands play, we had a couple beers and ate some pizza. . . american flatbread is freaking awesome! all in all, it was an awesome night, I cant believe I caught a buzz off from a beer and a half though!

Thursday I had class and I did pretty damned good on the last test that I took, I got a 100! right now I am carrying a 96 in my cardiopulm disease class, woo hoo!

other than that things are pretty good went to costcos today, its amazing how fast you can spin through 200 bucks there!

Hopefully I took my last dose of diltiazem today. . . Whats that? oh yea, diltiazem or “dilt” is a calcium channel blocker, it slows the signals from the top of the heart to the bottom of the heart, basically (almost) preventing the arrhythmia that I am having. . . I said almost, that’s why I’m having the EPS and ablation. . . hopefully the next few days are not too bad, cause I have to stop the meds a few days ahead of time so they are able to start up the arrhythmia. . . during the procedure they actually have to cause the arrhythmia so they can map it and see where its coming from, this will help them figure out where to ablate it and stop it from happening, having meds on board to prevent the arrhythmia doesnt help this cause. . . problem is that I could have issues with having the arrhythmias again between now and then, I’m gonna keep my fingers crossed, hopefully it wont be too bad, hopefully its worth it and I’ll never have to touch the stuff again, I hate taking pills!

well, its time to go catch up on some Z’s may be the last chance I have to get a good nights sleep in a while!

 

 

well, its time to go catch up on some sleep

Distraction, its an art! eh, not really. . .

life summed up in one word right now: Distraction! Work, School, Music, Life! Wait! isnt that 5 words, damn, I digress already.

A little about me, My name is Morgan. I’m 22 years old. I’m a Respiratory Therapy student, soon to be graduate! I’m a respiratory therapy assistant at my local hospital, also working in the food service department in the meantime, I’m a music lover, I love to be with family, I LOVE coffee (it definitely deserves its own food group), and beer for that matter, I love to be outside, I’m a hard worker, and, eh, I live with congenital heart disease every day of my life.

what’s up today? Right now life is crazy, school is crazy, work is crazy, my car is filthy (I bet you couldnt count the number of respiratory books I’ve got in that little beetle on 2 hands! that might be why my gas mileage went down at the beginning of this semester) today I took a break, I chilled out this morning and took care of some odds and ends, I took my practice RRT exam and got an 82 without even doing the math! Woo hoo! I should be safe for this week as far as various extra stuff going on now, and I even got the grocery shopping done! It’s nice to have a couple days off, I havent seen two days off back to back in. . . eh. . . a really long time, I dont even remember! The next time I see that will be March 26th. . .

One of the reasons I started this blog, among many others, is to chronicle my experiences, one of the biggest things on my mind lately is my upcoming Electrophysiology study and Ablation, and one of the biggest things I have noticed in getting ready for this procedure is that there isnt enough information about the actual experience of going through it, so I was hoping to help some people by detaling what its like to actually go through it for people. Right now that means the mental and emotional preparations, its alot to deal with at any age, but being 22 years old, and being told they are gonna snake a catheter up from yor groin, into your heart, and burn pieces of your heart into submission is freaky! Add to that being a medical professional, I see shitty things happen every day, and as a respiratory therapist, most of what I see is when things go wrong. . . that results in some pretty funky head trips, I cant even explain some of the dreams I have had!

My answer: Distraction, its not hard to do with work and school, but my favorite form is music! My goal right now is to make myself a new playlist on i tunes, as someone who deals with medical appointments and stuff, I’ve learned one trick, given to me by a fellow adult congenital heart patient: reward yourself! so, thats what I’ve been doing, I’ve been buying new music on i tunes, I cant believe it, I still havent exhausted the list of music I like from the 90’s! that added to the pair of pajamas I bought to wear to the hospital, I should be all set! The trick is to keep at it between now and the 26th. . . shouldnt be too hard, I seem to be pretty good at it!

laters!