A Day in the Life. . .

September 20, 2009

well,
I promised to explain how much of an impact all this has on my day to day life. . . and honestly I dont have a whole lot to explain, really! I’m usually not big on advertising my weaknesses, so this is really hard to do. Like anyone who has chronic illnesses I’ve been really good at making tiny changes in life to accomodate the little quirks I have, which has made my “quirks” pretty much imperceptible to the people around me, and actually, alot of times I dont realize that I am having them either.

Day to day, I really dont have many cardiac symptoms, and actually, its gotten to the point that they are second nature, and I dont even recognise them alot of times. the biggest reminder I have is the relatively visable scar on my chest, and the reactions it sometimes gets from people around me, although I will get the occasional skipped beat or two, or the occasional run of ventricular bigeminy, which are no more than an annoying, inconsequential reminder that my heart is tempermental, and it’s got a mind of its own. Rarely I’ll notice that I’ve overdone it and am really exhausted, or have some shortness of breath when I am excersising really hard, and half the time I can figure out some other explanation for why I am feeling the way I am (Denial? maybe. . . ) besides the occasional symptoms and my scar I dont have any meds to take, and I’ve only got the occasional doctors appt for heart related stuff, and the occasional memory or two, basically, I usually dont have to deal with my heart on a day to day basis, and alot of the time, other than seeing my scar in the mirror I forget about it totally. . . its stable for now, no need to dwell, its gonna cause more issues down the road, but I’m gonna enjoy being fairly bored with it for now…

My asthma though is another story, the biggest daily impact is taking my meds. I dont have daily symptoms most of the time, and usually when I do they are cough, chest tightness, and shortness of breath, I usually have my worst symptoms when I am sick with an upper respiratory infection, and sometimes I have chest tightness when I am excersising, the other impact that asthma has on my life is monthly trips to the pharmacy, the bills that come along with it, and making sure that I have enough of my meds all the time, and have a couple backup inhalers of xopenex, and of course followup appts that go along with managing asthma. Like any other asthmatic though I think I am able to ignore my symptoms well, and dont even notice them alot of times, and alot of times I play tough till its too late and things are much harder to get in control. . . its hard for me to tell how much my heart symptoms and asthma symptoms play off from each other and make things seem worse sometimes, but whatever, thats irrelevant

other than that, its hard to explain the total impact chronic illness has on my life in one post without it sounding alot worse than it really is, because the issues are so dynamic, changing daily, heck, my biggest beef with chronic illness is the unknown of it all, my heart could be stable for the next 25 years, or I could need a double valve replacement within a week from now and I wouldnt know that today by how I am feeling or doing, my asthma might be fine today, but tomorrow I could catch a cold or the flu and be sucking down 3 or 4 neb treatments a day, so I just have to live day to day

and now that this has rambled on for ages I am going to go chill out. . .

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One Response to “A Day in the Life. . .”

  1. kerri said

    Hey Morgan,

    Yeah, I think many of us fellow asthmatics can relate to your thoughts about asthma.
    I’m the same way–I can go days without using my Ventolin, and then start needing it every few hours if I’m sick or just randomly flaring.

    Right on on the backup inhalers, too. Once I lost my only rescue inhaler, and it turned up four days later in the office at school (in the mean time, I managed to breathe in some too-cold air and was in coughing spasms for hours! I picked up another at the pharmacy the next day, but that didn’t help THAT day!). I keep 3-4 of these guys on hand now, just in case!

    Great post!

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